Choose Happiness

I feel happy, thankful, and motivated!

With every step, I feel just a little stronger. And a little more in love with the world.

This is important because, previously, a common phrase that passed through my head was, “I hate the world and everything in it!” I was so beaten down and without hope. When I was in grade 9, I wanted to die because I thought I would lose my prettiness and wasn’t smart enough to be of any value to anyone. In my 20’s, I worked for some of the most disgusting people (seriously, one of them put semen in his wife salad dressing – just out of spite). In my personal life, I’ve risked and suffered tremendous loss in order to stand up for my own moral code, and refute intolerance and extremism (more on that some other time). And when it comes to love, I’ve had my heart broken so profoundly I thought I would never put the pieces back together.

Well, I’m not playing that game any more!

If I’m not happy, I’m going to do something about it. At any given moment, I’m ready to set fire to my life if I don’t like the way it’s going. You pick up, move on, and keep fighting. Nothing will change if you don’t change it.

I now have a job and a life in which I can be myself. Not only that, I can be my best self. I’m good at my job, and I’m on a progressive path. My friends and family are the best I could ever hope for. And my poor wounded heart is finally healed.

Here are some of the things I learned:

1. Everyone has something to offer. Dig deep, find it, and live it!
2. Don’t work for people you don’t like, doing a job you hate.
3. Be useful.
4. “If you want to work here, close!”
5. Smile and say “hi” to the people you work with. It makes a difference.
6. When it comes to your wardrobe, rock your own personal style. Don’t blend in.
7. Don’t ever let an “old boys’ club” or glass ceiling stop you.
8. Keep learning.
9. Don’t stick it out in a relationship if the other person isn’t willing to do their part.
10. If your heart breaks, take whatever time you need to heal it.
11. Overuse “thank you” and “I love you.”
12. Love and give with everything you have.
13. It is important to know when and how to respond empathetically.
14. When others bid for your attention, respond in a way that is active constructive.
15. Feed people – their bellies, minds, and hearts.
16. Feed yourself! Eat right, sleep right, and exercise – everything else will fall into place.

One of my mentors just tattooed “choose happiness” onto her arm. Preach, girl!

Values

This is me.

A woman who carries many things.

I’m really talking about the values I carry around with me everyday (although I do carry a giant, gorgeous purse, and love that it fits my phone, makeup, wallet, and bottle of wine for me to take to my girlfriend’s place on a Friday night).

A very wise and successful woman once told me that she has her values, she’s prioritized her values, and now she uses her values to make every decision easy.  Genius.  Simple, but genius.

So, values.  Apparently you’re supposed to have them.  Who knew?

Everyone should know what they value and not be ashamed of their values.  I realized I needed to be honest with myself and figure out my values, not the values other people expect me to have.  Easier said than done, but it can’t work any other way.

After a lot of self analysis, I now know what my true values are.  And I carry those values around with me everyday.  My values are what make me work, and love, and live.  My values are who I am, and I couldn’t change my values even if I tried.

Day One

One woman’s road to self improvement. Gosh, is that ever a long and arduous journey. Maybe one day I’ll go out of my way to share this blog with others. For now, it is my own place to reflect, get clarity, and set goals.

If I search for a comparison to my journey, the first thing that comes to mind is salmon swimming that thousand mile journey against the river current, at the end of which they have babies and die. Lovely. Either I need to change my life so that this metaphor doesn’t feel so applicable, or I need to embrace this gruelling campaign called life, just get on with it, and maybe find a way to see the beauty in it all.